i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
