sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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