I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I think my fart just growled at me.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Randomize
