I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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