I wanna passion pit in your ass
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
