so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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