so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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