were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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