I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
