we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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