DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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