she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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