The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
