I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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