remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize