My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
