i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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