I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
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