I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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