Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Never let your siblings swipe right.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
