I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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