Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
