Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Randomize
