she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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