YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
He did a backflip because drugs
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