I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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