i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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