two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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