I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
sarcasm needs its own font
She's like a pop up book from hell.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
