Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
