Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
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Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
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So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
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