he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
