just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
