What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
