What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
