His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
