Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I accidentally burped into my bong.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
