the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
