i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
barbara walters just said penis...
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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