She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Randomize
