every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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