Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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