Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
