he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
