Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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