How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
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