I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
