Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Quick, to the slutcave!
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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