Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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