if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Drake has all the answers
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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