I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
