His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize