well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
