She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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