Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
The Olympian is in my bed
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