If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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