are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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