so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
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