We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I have fence marks all over my body
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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