so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Dignity is for republicans.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
