I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
