we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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